Surrendering Into Freedom

About two months ago, we were invited on an eight-day sailing trip to the U.S. Virgin Islands with friends of my husband's who had been sailing for decades. My husband and I both thought, Wow… this feels like an opportunity we can’t turn down, so we excitedly said yes ~ even though I had never sailed before.

A few weeks before our trip, I had a F.I.X. Code session and discovered something I had been carrying since childhood: the belief that nobody has my back. And we released it.

I didn’t realize how quickly I would be given an opportunity to see that differently.

Sunday night after dinner ~ just 35 hours before our flight ~ we discovered I needed my passport, which was sitting at home 1,500 miles away. Even though we were traveling to the U.S. Virgin Islands, a U.S. Territory, I needed it to board the plane.

I remained completely calm (a very different version of me even months ago) while others around me were understandably stressed. It was 9:25 pm. I had a quiet knowing ~ to reach out to our neighbor. I was grateful to find him home, since he travels often. He agreed to same-day courier it the next morning. I said Yes!

My phone rang five minutes later. He had found a reasonable flight ~ less than the cost of the courier ~ leaving in seven hours. He offered to hand-deliver my passport himself, with a return flight the following day at the same time we were flying to St. Thomas.

I thought he was simply delivering my documents. What I didn't know yet was that he was meant to be there all along. He became our angel ~ helping us organize and pack when we were exhausted, and carry heavy bags through the airport. He was a Godsend, woven into a plan I didn’t even know existed.

I could not have received a clearer message that someone has my back.

I am in such deep gratitude for his kindness, generosity, and the simple fact that he would do that for me. It was a reminder that when we release what blocks us, the universe sends exactly what we need ~ often in the most unexpected forms. That kind of generosity doesn't feel like a coincidence to me. It feels like confirmation.

When we returned home and I reflected on the trip, something else became clear. If I still had my corporate job, I would have turned this invitation down. I would never have taken almost two weeks of precious vacation time for something that wasn't even on my bucket list.

But when my husband first mentioned it, my intuition said yes ~ clearly and immediately. This is an experience you need to have. And it was ~ a trip of a lifetime. 

I am so grateful to have the freedom to follow what shows up, check in with myself, and just do it. That, to me, is true freedom.

Being on a 41-foot sailboat for eight days on the Atlantic Ocean and northern Caribbean Sea, I was completely at her mercy. Five-foot swells. Mysterious, large fish with glowing yellow eyes near the boat at night. The first few days were really stressful as I found my footing on an unfamiliar vessel. Eventually, learning to take the helm under an experienced teacher, being intensely focused and finding my groove became something close to bliss.

There was so much magic in those eight days. Sea turtles drift alongside the boat ~ and swam with me. Snorkeling in water so beautiful and clear with tropical fish, rays and squid. The daily magic of hearing “sunset alert,” and basking in the beauty.

One afternoon, a small silver and yellow fish ~ no more than two inches long ~ swam with me for over half an hour. I floated there in the warm Caribbean water, completely still, tears streaming into my mask. I felt, with absolute certainty, that it was my mom reminding me she is still with me. That moment stays with me. It still brings me to tears.

The trip also gave me a chance to witness how much I have changed over this past year. My reactions were different. I wasn't taking things personally. I was going with the flow. I knew what I needed and asked for it clearly. I took good care of myself. I was fully present. I was calmer and more at peace.

And what became really clear to me is that this level of surrender didn’t just happen. It came from the work I’ve been doing ~ releasing the old patterns, programs, and beliefs that used to make me hold on tighter, take things personally, and struggle to let go. Without that, this trip would have felt overwhelming. Instead, it felt expansive.

It was a gift I never could have anticipated ~ on a sailboat with people I had met twice, for a total of maybe four hours.

Exactly one week after we got home, I was sworn in as a United States citizen.

If that isn't the ultimate freedom, I don't know what is.

It took almost a year from the day I applied. After my interview, I was told I'd be a citizen before Christmas 2025. That didn't happen. And I had to surrender that too.

This year, my word ~ my intention ~ has been freedom. I chose it very intentionally, though I hadn't consciously connected it to my citizenship at the time of selecting my yearly word. The universe, it turns out, had a much bigger plan for me.

When we set an intention and focus on what we want, and this year my focus has been on Freedom, the universe begins to respond in ways you may not expect.

What are you focusing on?

Most of us spend more energy focusing on what we don’t want than what we do ~ because our uncomfortable emotions feel so loud, so in charge, so much like us.

What I’ve come to understand is that so much of what we feel in those moments ~ the fear, the urgency, the need to control ~ feels like us… but it isn’t. It’s just an old program being activated. And those programs can be released. They don’t have to keep running the show.

And as those programs begin to loosen, some very quickly, so much more becomes available.

When we allow ourselves to pause, to trust, to surrender… something shifts.

We stop fighting life, and we start experiencing it.

This month, I want to leave you with one question to sit with quietly:

Where in your life have you been white-knuckling something you're actually being asked to surrender?

What would it feel like to trust the unfolding ~ and just let the sailboat take you?

Transformation Happens NOW ~ When we allow ourselves to surrender, that is where the magic happens!